Losing a pet is like losing a family member. I’ve had people over the years communicate to me that they felt weird, or guilty, or embarrassed, because they “cried more over the dog dying” than for a person who died. In my opinion, love is love.
Grieving over the loss of your pet is no less painful than losing a friend or family member. And sometimes, pets are all we have. I personally lived alone for 13 years and my pets, specifically my cat, who lived to be 20, was my only friend and companion at times.
In this post, we’ll go over several ways to cope with the loss of your pet (includes video). At the end of the post, you’ll see a video you should watch if you think your pet’s death is your fault.
WATCH MY VIDEO: dealing with grief over the loss of a pet
Coping with the Loss of Your Pet
Don’t let anyone tell you how you should feel or react to the loss of your pet. No one should be trying to tell you to “move on” or “get over it.” Everyone grieves in their own way, and in their own time. Let yourself feel however you feel without being embarrassed.
It’s OK to be angry, to cry or not to cry. It’s also OK to laugh, to find moments of joy, and it’s OK to let go when you’re ready.
Reach out to others who have lost pets. Check out online message boards, pet loss hotlines, and pet loss support groups. Another source for help is the website, PetLoss.com. If your own friends and family members do not understand the grief of pet loss, find someone who does.
A person who has also lost a beloved pet may better understand what you’re going through.
Seek professional help if you need it. If your grief is persistent and interferes with your ability to function, you should speak to your doctor about getting help with depression.
Rituals can help with healing. A funeral can help you and your family members openly express your feelings. Ignore people who think it’s silly to hold a funeral for a pet, and do what feels right for you and your family.
Create a legacy. Preparing a memorial, planting a tree in memory of your pet, creating a photo album or scrapbook, or just sharing the memories you enjoyed with your pet, can create a legacy to celebrate their life.
You can find wonderful ideas for pet memorials HERE. You can purchase a personalized dog necklace HERE.
Look after yourself. The stress of losing a pet can really take a toll on your health. During this difficult time, be sure to eat a healthy diet, get enough sleep, exercise regularly to help release endorphins and raise serotonin, and drink plenty of water if you’re crying a lot so you don’t get dehydrated.
I know you’re in pain, and it’s hard to worry about yourself while you’re so sad. But your becoming ill isn’t going to help – rather, it will only make things feel worse.
If you have other pets, try to maintain your normal routine. Surviving pets can also experience loss when a pet dies, or they may become upset by your sorrow. Maintaining their daily routines and increasing exercise and play times will not only benefit the surviving pets, but will likely help you too.
If you’re grieving the loss of a pet during the holiday season. You might like to read this article, How to Deal with the Loss of a Pet During the Holidays.
If all else fails, just pray and stay busy. I have found that for me, the best (only) way for me to get through grief is to pray often (several times a day) and keep busy. Just doing things to pass the time helps because as time passes, you begin to feel better.
Fold laundry, go for a walk, go to the store. Clean out your cupboards, or your desk if you’re at work. Staying busy really does help. I personally have found going for walks to be the most helpful.
This Poem Has Helped Me More Than Anything Else
In all the years I’ve been a pet owner, nothing has ever brought me more comfort after the loss of a pet than The Rainbow Bridge Poem. I actually print it and include it with a sympathy card whenever a friend or family member loses a pet. I hope it helps you too.
The Rainbow Bridge
By the edge of a woods, at the foot of a hill
Is a lush, green meadow, where time stands still.
Where the friends of man and woman do run
When their time on earth is over and done.
For here, between this world and the next
Is a place where each beloved creature finds rest.
In this golden land, they wait and they play
‘til the Rainbow Bridge they cross over one day.
No more do they suffer in pain or in sadness,
For here they are whole, their lives filled with gladness.
Their limbs are restored, their health is renewed
Their bodies have healed, with strength renewed.
They romp through the grass without even a care
Until one day they start and sniff at the air.
All ears pricked forward, eyes dart front and back
Then all of a sudden, one breaks from the pack.
For just at that instant, their eyes have met
Together again, both person and pet.
They run to each other, these friends from long past
The time of their parting is over, at last!
The sadness they felt while they were apart
Has turned into joy once more in each heart.
They embrace with a love that will last forever
And then, side-by-side, they cross over together.
– Steve & Diane Pidavski
Books Can Help with Pet Loss
When my mother passed away in 2005, I found an enormous amount of comfort reading Sylvia Browne’s books about, “The Other Side.” So I was thrilled to find out that she has a book about grieving the loss of our pets called, “All Pets Go to Heaven.”
Book Description: “The death of a pet is a heart-wrenching event for anyone. Now Sylvia Browne uses her psychic gift to show us how pets fit into the afterlife and provide relief for those who are grieving the loss of a beloved animal.
Forty years of research and stories culled from Browne’s career reveal keen insights into the creatures that share our homes and hearts. From their never-ending loyalty and heroic deeds, to their comic behavior, our pets have a special purpose here on Earth and beyond, and now readers can understand exactly what that is.”
Excerpts: Here are a few excerpts from the book that I found myself writing down because they helped me a great deal:
“As we believe more in the truth of the Other Side, the veil between this side and the Other Side thins because belief brings out the truth and blocks negativity.”
“Don’t be worried and stressed. Enjoy all the beauty around you – the trees, animals, family members, friends. We’re on this earth for such a short time (even if we live to be 100), and before we know it we’ll be back Home on the Other Side in a beautiful meadow romping with our pets and loved ones.
We can’t live like this world is all there is to creation, because it isn’t, and this existence was never meant to be the true reality of life.”
“No matter how much pain and grief we suffer after the loss of a pet, we must go on, knowing that they, just like other loved ones who have passed over, will see us again very soon.
On the Other Side, there is no time as we know it. While it seems to us that we must wait years to see our loved ones again, to them it will seem like only a moment.”
Love your pets. Sylvia believes there is a contract with God that reads: “If you will take care of mine, I will take care of you.”
I hope this books helps you. It helped me. To purchase this book, CLICK HERE
Do Pets Go to Heaven?
There is lots of evidence that pets do go to Heaven! Read my post, Do Animals Go to Heaven? (includes video) for information, evidence and proof!
Your Pet’s Death is NOT Your Fault
If for some reason you feel your pet’s death may be your fault, I encourage you to read my blog post, Your Pet’s Death is Not Your Fault (or watch the video below). No matter how convinced you may be that it’s your fault, please (please!) read the post and/or watch the video. Please trust me on this.
WATCH MY VIDEO: your pet’s death is not your fault
Please comment below to share tips for coping with the loss of a pet.
And if you’re dealing with that loss at this very moment, please accept my heartfelt sympathy and understanding. You will get through this. My mother always said, “Just say your prayers and keep on walking.” HUGS, Debra XO
For My Darling Taz
For My Darling TazThis post is dedicated to my beloved dachshund, Taz, who passed away on May 3, 2016. Mommy loves you, sweetheart. XOXO
I Donate to Animal Charities
I Donate to Animal CharitiesThank you for visiting my website. I hope so much this post has helped ease your pain, even just a little.
I donate 10% of my earnings to animal charities. You can see a list of the charities I donate to here. If you found my site to be helpful, please share it with others. Thank you! Debra
Princess mommy loves you and misses you. There is an empty spot in my bed at night and it brings tears to my eyes…you have brought so muxh joy to my life. I hope i see you again when its my turn..missing you bunches…xo
I’m so sorry for your loss, Rose. I’ve lost so many pets over the years, and my heart aches for each and every one of them. But I believe they are around us (and sleeping in bed with us!) in spirit all the time. And I don’t know about you, but when I get to Heaven, my family may not be able to see me right away…they’ll have to get through the pack of pets waiting there for me! Much Love, Debra
I just lost my Apollo from a very tragic accident. My heart hurts so much, I lost him because, I was not home, and he got into the treats and chocked on them. We are trying and I am trying not to blame myself.
I’m so sorry about this. I want you to read this:
https://peoplelovinganimals.com/your-pets-death-is-not-your-fault/
I hope it helps. Accidents do happen – to pet owners, to parents, to everyone. You would never intentionally hurt Apollo.HUGS, Debra
Audrey
I am so sorry for your loss of Apollo. I know you are hurting.
We had to say goodbye to our Lucky girl yesterday. We were out of town and had neighbors checking on all the pets. Lucky was taking a steroid for what we thought was a minimal back issue. Neighbor texted Sun night that there was blood everywhere and gave her a bath. I couldn’t ask neighbor to drop her off at emergency vet. I watched the Furbo monitor and she seemed to still be walking around. We were not able to get home until mid day yesterday and found her in shock. We ran her to the vet. Apparently she had intestinal blockage and internal bleeding. We hope she heard us tell her how much we loved her. I am sick with guilt as well. How awful she was here and scared/in pain and wondering where we were.
Hugs to you. And prayers to peace and comfort.
I’m so sorry about your baby. We just lost our almost 15 year old puggle today – he drowned in our pool. He was blind, death and incontinent. He also had weakness in his legs. He galloped now instead of walking regularly. Even with all that he still ate and drank. I feel like we let him down by not being there. I think of his last thoughts, him wondering where we were. It’s the most horrible feeling. My husband and my boys are a mess as well.
Praying that we all somehow surpass this tremendous grief we’re feeling.
Prayers for you
My heart breaks for you. It may help you to read my blog post (with video) called, Your Pet’s Death is Not Your Fault:
https://peoplelovinganimals.com/your-pets-death-is-not-your-fault/
HUGS, Debra
I had to let my little one go and I am still heartbroken 3 weeks later. I loved him so much and he adored me. I was the one that had to say it was time and hold him close to me as he left, feeling his last breath. Everyday I feel so guilty, if only I could have helped him, done more or in some way cause his diabetes. We tried so hard to get him balanced but very quickly he became blind, then went into ketoacidosis, Pancreatis and cushing disease just like that. I miss him so much even though God gave me another one to love, which also makes me feel so guilty. I still cry for him everday and I think I will until we meet again. He trusted me and I feel like I let him down.
I’m so sorry about this. My second husband was a Type 1 Diabetic. Diabeties is terrible. I also had a dog who had cushings disease. These things are so hard to deal with. As pet owners, we feel responsible for the health and safety of our pets but unfortunately they get sick just like people and often there is no explanation or nothing that can be done, just like with people. Please read my blog post Your Pet’s Death is Not Your Fault. I hope it helps. HUGS, Debra
https://peoplelovinganimals.com/your-pets-death-is-not-your-fault/
I just lost my Dixie girl two days ago. She was 12 years old, a boxer mix, and the best dog, best friend, she was my world. She started bleeding and the Vet couldn’t figure out why and didn’t have the equipment to figure it out. While waiting the closest specialist (4 hours away) to fit her in, she started having seizures. I don’t know if the antibiotics she was on was causing the seizures or not. The Vet said it was not the medication he gave her, but I have so many doubts. She had lost a lot of weight within a week. She was always on the skinny side, but she lost so much that you could see her ribs, her spine, and her hips in under a week! I was at a complete loss, I didn’t know what to do. The Vet told me I could take her to a different specialist that is 5 hours away or I needed to end her suffering. He said that if I took her to the specialist there was a very good probability that the outcome would be the same. He gums were white, her eyes were sad, I couldn’t bare the thought of her hurting and being scared. I lost my girl that day. I feel so guilty, how do you know if the decision was right? I miss her so much, everything I did she was right there by my side and now she is gone. I told her she was the best dog and such a good girl. I told her I loved her. I hope she knows how much I love her. I hope that she could feel the love.
I’m so sorry about this. I have to say, by what you’ve told me, that I believe made the right decision. The medical decisions we face as pet owners, especially when our pets get older, are so hard to make sense of. But it’s our responsibility to make the decisions they need us to make. I believe you did the right thing. It’s obvious from your comment that you loved this dog profoundly. So many dogs never have that. That’s what you have to focus on and yes, I’m absolutely certain she could feel your love that day, and every other day she had the blessing of being your dog.
Try to stay busy. It helps. You will feel better soon. HUGS, Debra
I lost my four-legged child Michael B two days ago. I had to make the decision to let him go. I miss him so much. It was him and I for almost 17 years. I feel so lonely. The only family that I have in the USA is my son, but he is an adult now and lives with his girlfriend. I have people texting me or my siblings sending me messages and checking on me. But all I want is to be able to hold my baby again. I never thought that I could feel so much love for a cat. He was with me while I dealt with the loss of my mom three years ago. I am trying to work but found myself thinking it is time for his lunch, or that I need to refresh his water bowl. Six years ago, I started to work from home and we both follow the same routine every day. He would go on the patio, and I would set up a chair for him to take naps or watch the squirrels and chipmunks along with the birds that came by to eat sunflower seeds or peanuts. Once I finished work, he knew it was time for diner and we would hang out in the kitchen. He literally saved my life when I was about to give up. He will put his head on my shoulder, and I will hold him while waiting to make a cup of tea, he loved to be scratched under his chin. The last year and half he had slowed down but he still kept coming down the stairs to greet me when I got home. He was a fighter. He was diagnosed with kidney disease and thyroid problems but that did not change his demeanor. I have pictures of him around the house and keep telling him how much I love him and miss him. My son and I were there with him while he was crossing to the other side and gave him kisses and hold his paw. I told him he was going to be with my mom and the two of them could spend time in the sun, listening to the radio. Just like they did when she came to visit me. I hope I get to see him again on the other side.
Wow, all I kept thinking when I read your comment is how incredibly blessed this cat was to be loved so profoundly. So many cats never experience that. Sadly, their passing is a part of pet ownership and it’s so painful. But we keep going, and we adopt more animals throughout our life, and we get to see all of them on the other side. He was loved. I’m actually getting a little choked up typing this. It warms my heart beyond belief when I see how much an animal is loved. HUGS, Debra
I lost my good old girl 3 weeks ago after 11 years together. I think she was about 14 – not sure of her age because she was a rescue.
Reading these sad stories makes me feel that she and I were so fortunate – we had a lovely life together and when her time came it was very quick and very peaceful but I miss her so.
My heart goes out to everyone who had lost a loved one – bless you all
I’m so sorry, Marianne. I know losing a pet is so painful. I had a cat who lived to 20 years and a doxy who was about 14 (also a rescue so I’m not sure). Also had another cat who lived to 14. The cat of 20 years was the most difficult for me because of the enormous span of my life she had been by my side for. But yes, you’re right. We were beyond blessed to have them! Debra